Father's day in heaven

Fiona Apple's 'Never is a Promise' is currently playing but this is not just about the song's sad lines. Its tune and rhythm pinched me, scraping my other side.  Warning: this post post is a little sentimental. Well anyway, Paul's father was in town last Wednesday and arranged a dinner for the 3 of us. It's also a sort of advanced celebration for father's day. It was a fine, lovely dinner at one of our favorite restaurants nearby, which is another story to blog. We went home with laughter  and tummies full, but the thoughts we discussed over dinner simply seeped in. The feeling of having a father. The chance of conversing with someone, a father figure, discussing real stuff. That's where it all started.

It's one of those days when I badly miss my father. But no wishing or dreaming could bring him back to life now. And I know he's happier where he is now. He is now in a real peaceful world watching over me and my family. Although I always miss him everyday in every corner of my life. He used to tell us lovely stories, jokes, lessons and anything under the sun. He was my confidante, my music teacher, my rock, my best friend, my inspiration, my loving father. I miss him now. I'll still miss him tomorrow. Everyday.

It was and still not easy. Seven years without him is painful yet to completely move on. I have fond memories of my father that until now, I cry buckets whenever I remember them. He was a cool and very generous and kind man, my family couldn't ask for more. He may not be perfect but he was a genuine man to everybody. He showed the world to us (his children), taught us to never give up on our dreams and to be humble in whatever circumstance. I am who I am now because of him. He taught me life's big lessons. The words "dont look at today as today lang, decide and plan ahead for your future," will forever be stuck in my head. He let me discover things on my own, to be responsible of my own actions. And most of all he taught me to love unconditionally.

One time, he told told us that when something good or bad happens, it happens for a reason. And yes, Now I have slowly realized the reasons why you needed to go so soon. Thank you for everything, Pa. I hope you know how grateful I am to be your daughter. I love you very very much and I hope you could read this.

Happy father's day! Sending you lotsa love kisses and hugs! Rock on!

My late father in his teens. He's rockin' the heavens now for sure. =)